The Angels + Algebra = fun

As part of a practical joke on John Lackey, he and three other players on the Angels are going to take an algebra test tomorrow.

It turns out, Lackey skipped the final for his college algebra class at Grayson Community College five days before he was selected in the 1999 draft. That’s not the best part:

For Lackey, though, (Mike Scioscia) was just getting warmed up. Part 2 of the prank came over the weekend when, with the entire team listening, Scioscia got Lackey’s mother, a teacher, on a speaker phone and told her Lackey had failed his last math class.

Lackey’s mother was upset.

“Don’t worry,” Scioscia assured her. “We’re going to rectify it.”

Part 3 came Monday morning, when Scioscia arranged for an Arizona State graduate student “in some kind of quantum physics” to walk into the team meeting and give Lackey a college sophomore-level algebra test.

The laughter from the clubhouse was so loud it could be heard through closed doors and all the way down the hall.

Whoever thought that algebra could be funny?

Before this, the funniest math joke I could remember was this:

Reggie Bush misses his own deposition

Reggie Bush didn’t show up to his scheduled deposition on Monday. Instead, his attorneys filed a motion that his testimony be concealed from the NCAA and the media.

Got something to hide, Reggie?

I’m no law expert, I have no idea whether this is valid or not. But as an average joe, it seems that Bush is hiding something, like, I don’t know, maybe he did take money from Lloyd Lake while he was still at USC? Maybe he cheated and should return his Heisman? Maybe USC should have to forfeit some games?

Bush’s lawyer, David Cornwell (who is also a legal analyst for ESPN) declined to comment to the AP.

Here’s what Lloyd Lake’s lawyer had to say:

“It’s so that we can’t share the transcripts with the NCAA, which is a huge admission of guilt,” said Lake’s attorney, Brian Watkins. “Reggie Bush has repeatedly said that he has nothing to hide, and now that he has to testify under oath, he’s saying he doesn’t want what he says shared with the NCAA. Now all of the sudden it’s ‘Hey I’m going to have to admit to some things and I don’t want them out there.’

If you remember, the last time there was news in this case, Reggie Bush’s lawyers brought an armed observer to the deposition of Lake. Reggie isn’t exactly winning the PR battle.

(Hat-tip to Bruins Nation.)

34 days ’til Opening Day: Reggie Willits

There are 34 days left until that best day of the year, MLB’s Opening Day.

34 is also the number of RBI Reggie Willits had last season for the Angels. It wasn’t the RBI that made Willits valuable though. In his first full major-league season, Willits had an OBP of .391.

Though what really amazes me about Willits is that he played all of last season with a non-functioning gallbladder. He had surgery to remove it in January. From MLB.com: (ellipsis mine)

Bothered all season by persistent pains in the stomach and rib cage, Willits persevered. The source of the disturbance went undiagnosed until it was determined with extensive winter testing that he had a non-functioning gallbladder.

…

“I feel 100 times better since I had my surgery,” Willits said on Thursday, decked out in a New York Giants cap and T-shirt as pitchers and catchers reported. “My energy is coming back. It was something that zapped my energy level a little bit and caused me to fade down a little more than I should.”

Wow. I’m no medical expert, but that must have painful. Imagine what Willits is capable of know that he is painfree. In case you forgot what the gall bladder is, here’s a lesson from the National Institute of Health: